Reflecting on Leadership for Change

Exercise #2: The Sound Bite
The most important thing that I've learned this semester is to just DO IT!

Exercise #3
After reading my blog i was really in awe. I couldn't believe how much of a "scaredy cat" i was. (i know that's not a real word). I realized that I was really making decisions about my future based on what people wanted me to do and the doubts that faced from people. I really do feel that I've grown this semester not only as a person but academically. I feel that now I'm able to go head on into problems and not be afraid to ask for help. I feel very confident in my future, meaning I've faced that fact that I have very hard science classes that I have to take and I know that its going to be a struggle. Leadership for Change has really changed my it really does have to do with the people you know. When i was listening to peoples success stories in class, most of the time when they reached success it had to do with the people they knew, but mainly how hard they worked to get there. Whenever i think about my future now, it's like i know for a fact that i can reach it. I know that I'll be able to get there one day. I honestly found my planning wall to be very helpful to me and, i can actually say that after the class is over, im going to continue to follow it, because it really does help me to see what i have to do in order to reach my goal. Some of the activities and behaviors that I engaged in for the first time would probably be me discussing my future plans with people that didn't know anything about me. Im really not an open person and tend to keep my thoughts and concerns to myself, but seeing as though one of the main requirements for the class was being active with strangers i had no choice but to. At first i wasn't to comfortable with it, but after the first couple of classes i felt myself warming up to it and actually being okay with it. I now seem to find that talking to people who i don;t know about my doubts and problems are better than talking to people you don't know because they can't judge based on what they already know.The three things that I liked about Leadership for Change would be:

1. Making the flow chart and planning wall
2. The weekly readings we had... i liked that we had a variety of different books, even though they were different they all tied in to eachother.
3. Home Groups, i really enjoyed talking to my classmates, if i ever came to class feeling down or worried about something whether we had hardtimes within our individual groups or talking about it in class as a whole i always felt good about it.

The three things that I liked least about Leadership for Change would be:

1. The book by Komives, I know i said that i enjoyed the readings and i did but if i could take out one book for us to read it would be that one.
2. Not being able to have a panel of people with different professions

The three things that i would suggest to improve leadership for the change would be:

1. To have a panel of people with different professions
2. A different book other than Komives
3. That Dr. Rock not leave UIC so that she can teach another semester of Leadership for Change!

All in all i really enjoyed Leadership for Change and I'm very happy that I decided to take the class,because if i hadn't i probably would have switched to another major that I may have thought would have been better for me but in the end really wouldn't have.

Work the Plan

Exercise #1:First Steps
I currently don't have any more first steps to do until next semester,but in the meantime i wil just review over my chemistry books since i already have them and try to teach myslef some things ahead of time.
Exercise#2:Weekly Business Meeting
My buddy and I both went over with eachother how our weeks went. I told Rebecca that i actually had a good week, and im taking and doing all the steps from my planning wall in order for me to reach my main goal. I expressed to her that the only things really bothering me right now, was one, a research paper that i have to do for my english class that 's due at the end of the semester and two, the fact that im already starting to have anxiety about chemistry and other science classes.
Exercise#3:Sunday Meeting
My first Sunday night meeting with myself, actually wasn't that bad and when you actually think about it i think i we all have meetings by ourselves more than often, i just think of it as being in deep thought with ourselves with someone quiet. I went over my planning wall and looked at my flow chart to, make sure that im actually following all the steps. I also looked at my weekely calendar and i seem to be following my schedule pretty good. I didn't really have a hard times with myself,but i do keep a journal that i write in whenever i want to express things that i don't to tell other people. So i wrote in my journal about a couple of things mainly them being personal and not having anything to do with school related work.

The Buddy System

Exercise #1:First Steps
I've completed all the steps on my planning wall that i can at this point. The next step on it is to start all the classes that I've signed up for, for my major so at this point all I can do is wait for the Spring semester to start so that I can continue on with the steps of my planning wall.

Exercise #2:The Buddy System
The person that I decided to choose as a buddy is my friend Rebecca. She's actually taking a class similar to this one, instead her class is like a job training course were she has a mentor in the profession that she wants to be in which is a teacher and in her class shes actually able to go to work with her mentor and observe her at work. We actually live about 15 minutes away from eachother so we decided to meet up at her house to have our meeting. Since she's never seen my planning wall before, i decided to bring it so that she can see exactly what my plans are step-by-step to achieveing my goal as a pediatrician. She doesn't have a planning wall but she created something close it, but instead she calls hers a to do list. So for about the next 15 minutes or so, I explained to her the future problems that I might have and how right now, I'm really confident and feeling very optimistic about my plans. She explained to me that at first she was very worried that she would have trouble with the age group that she wants to teach, but when she observes her mentor and sees the different ways that she handles them, she doesn't feel as worried anymore. Our meeting actually ended up to be really good, although i would say that the only thing i didn;t like about it was that i had to keep explaining things to her such as what a touchstone is and a flow chart and a lot more now that I think about it, it would have been a lot better to stick with a buddy from class.

Moving and Shaking

Exercise #1:First Steps
The next step on my planning wall was to pick the necessary classes for my major that I will be taking in the spring. At UIC you have to wait until they tell you when you're able to sign up for your classes and last week starting on Tuesday I was able to, so i picked all my classes except for one, other than that I'm all ready to go for the spring semester.

Exercise #2:Reflecting on Fear

• The resistance that I've experienced so far is people telling me that I won't make it as a teacher and that I'll end up changing my major. The other type of resistance that I've experienced was with my mother when i thought that i'd be changing my major,she didn't quite agree with me and not very supportive. Also one my role models was'nt very supportive even though she wasn't direct with it i could tell that she really didn't think that i would stick with becoming a doctor.
• I think that it actually manifested me into a more stronger person in a way. It has made me stronger because it really just makes me want to work harder and prove everyone wrong. It also has made me in a way show my mother that I'm growing up and although she has a huge impact on my life she can't live it for me and I have to make my own decisons and learn from my own mistakes.
• I wouldn't say that it reveals stage fright in me, but more of survival fear. Only because I'm actually really scared that I might not make it and I always have the thoughts of what if's? I believe that everyone always have those thoughts,but it seems like it's always going through my head and I can't seem to get it out.
• The underlying messages I believe is that I can't let people's thought and comments about me get to me. I have to learn that I need to keep moving on and stay strong no matter what the problem or situation may be.
• I don't think that anyone really moves through or around it and if they do I believe it's only temporary. Even when people do reach there goal there still going to have resistance no matter what.

Get into Action

Exercise #1: First Steps
One of the tasks that I was to complete this week was to see my advisor and map out a plan for the next 2 .5 years of the courses that i have and still need to take for my major. On Tuesday i met with my advisor and after sitting down with her, i felt sad and happy. I was sad because starting next year I'm going to have to take Summer school classes probably all the way up until I graduate in order to graduate in the time that I want to and so that I have enough time to take all the courses that are required. I know that I have a lot of hard work to do and can't keep letting myself get discouraged when i see that its going to be a long rode down for me. I'm really trying to work on that with myself. I have to realize that there's alot of things in life that i'm not going to want to do,but have no choice to do it if i want to be or get to a certain point in my life. One of the reasons i was happy was because i had some very encouraging words from my advisor which really meant alot to me. I've heard of stories were students get horrible advisors who don't really care what type of classes they take, but mine really does. She told me that she knows, im going to have a tough and hard rode to walk on in the future,but she knows that I'm capable of doing it. I've heard these words many times from my family and friends, but its actually very nice to hear it from someone that doesn't really know you and doesn't even have to say anything to you, but the classes that you're planning to take. The second goal, that i wrote down to do was go and ask for tutoring. Even though im not taking any hard science courses now, i know that im going to need help with them in the future, so i went to the honors college and got there schedule for tutors. I emailed my old chemisrty T.A who i found very helpful last semester if she was interested in tutoring my one on one in exchange for some money. She emailed me back that night and said that she wouldn't mind to tutor me and that she would even do it for free, which was outstanding news for me and parents because they were the ones who were going to have to pay her. All in all i had a very successful week in completing my goals and I'm feeling very confident with myself and the goals that i have set for myself in the future.